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Dear You,

It's been a while since we've talked...the longest we haven't talked. I don't know what's going on, how you've been or what you've been up to, but I'm good. A little stressed about exams but the same old same old. I've been told on numerous occasions that I've changed and sometimes I wonder if you have too. I wonder if you still look at my blogs or check my facebook to check up on me. You crossed my mind and I felt compelled to check yours. You seem well, you seem happy and I can honestly take a step back and be happy for you. At one point or another you meant so much to me and it does hurt that we aren't as close anymore. Never was it my intention to allow my stubbornness nor yours to distance us, but it has and that's what life teaches you. People do walk in and out of your life easily and effortlessly but it's up to you to keep them. It's a two way street and sometimes when you want them to stay bad enough, you will put in extra effort, but i guess neither of us did that huh? My lack of effort to stay in touch and your inability to reciprocate when I did was all it needed to say goodbye. Looking at old photos I couldn't help but smile. We may not have the moments but at least we have the memories.

xx.
Helen

break

We tend to breakdown or breakeven.
Perhaps its time to just breakaway.

-lmc

distance

"For every step I take forward,
I take a deeper fall back'

-lmc

Day Ten

One Confession:

" I come across as arrogant, cold, bitchy and heartless cause half the time i pretend not have a heart, so those around me, don't know when it's broken'

-lmc

late

'They say its better late than never.
But what happens when your late becomes an inevitable never?'

-lmc

Day NIne

Two smileys
1.) :)

- Lets face it, I can actually say i'm pretty happy at the moment. I've been through every emoticon possible so now i've finally returned back to base one...happy. Just smile and go with the flow. Might as well.

2.) 8-)
I've finally learned to stop moving mountains for people. True, there are some people in my life that I let walk over me, but either than that? Yeah, there's a big chance i'll just roll my eyes at you. Take every moment as it comes and if it doesn't go as planned....just roll your eyes.

-lmc

truth

' Sometimes, it takes one action for all truth to come out.

Problem with these 'truths'?

They always come about when unnecessary'

-lmc

Day Eight

Three turn ons

1.) smell good. There's just something about a guy that always smells good, and even if they just walk past...you wanna look back and see who smells so goddam good. :x

2.) Nice hair. Put gatsby, straighten it...i don't care just do your goddam hair.

3.) Confidence. Hot. Just hot.


-lmc

Love&War

If all's fair in love and war
be fair and ask yourself what you're fighting for.
They say wars not about who's right, but who's left
well loves the same, just a different hole in your chest
First you're falling in love then you're falling apart,
no matter how hard you fall you were dead from the start.
It always starts with a single fight.
But as all hell breaks loose I can smell the sulphite.
Well if this is hell then i guess its finally frozen over
cos i just got frostbite when she gave me the cold shoulder
when the battle begins, can't believe what i just heard
like bullets through my brain, they be fighting words.
You bring up the past, and the die has been cast
but why you bring up the past when its already passed?
Now I'm a soldier of fortune, but i aint so lucky
Cos everything you say is right on the money
I'm the underdog here, and i put up a fight,
but this dogs got no bark and hardly any bite.
With a final attack and this war is done
the outcome is bleak and nobody feels like they've won
I check out the battlefield and its soaked with bloodshed,
except every drop of blood is a drop of a tear shed.
So if all's fair in love and war
Why does it always feel like i love you more


-mh

degree

' A couple of words, an action, a couple of seconds can change your everything to your nothing'

-lmc

Day Seven

4 turn offs

1.) Cocky people. Confidence is nice but push the boundary and you just became a cocky bastard.
2.) Push overs. I'm already one. I already know how annoying I can be, please don't be one as well.
3.) guys that think they know it all. Sif.
4.) Lack of confidence. They're just as bad as guys that are cocky. Both are equally annoying.


-lmc

Day six

5 people who mean a lot to you.

I'm gonna put all girls just so it limits my choices. Then, I'm going to put them in alphabetical order so i don't play favourites.

1.) Chrystal Copland-One of my best friends since i was 12. Still remained close after she did a runway for Chanel. Epic or what?
2.) Evonne- a little ball of sunshine
3.) Isma- The black version of me
4.) Julie- My rock
5.) Vanessa- My B1- self explanatory :)

-lmc

Day 5

Six things you wish you had never done

I honestly can't say much for this. Regretting is up to one's discretion and in saying that, I rarely regret anything I've ever done...but I'll do my best to sort this out.

1.) Be a rebellious child and skip some sunday temple lessons. My viet would probably be a bit better and I would probably be a more peaceful person
2.) Think i was invincible as a child and tell that big ass dog to go away. Almost bit me and scared my mom so badly :/ poor mama
3.) Go home late after playing at the neighbours house. My poor parentals had to put up with so much :(
4.) be so demanding. Up to the age of 9, i thought i could get whatever i wanted and would kick a fuss if i didn't get it. It was only when my siblings taught me to appreciate things and to be grateful that I stopped. Ironically enough, i teach them that now.
5.) lie, cheat, steal. Self explanatory.
6.) Not be so difficult as a person. Self explanatory if you know me well enough.

-lmc

day 4

7 things that cross your mind often

1.Family and Friends. I hope everyone is ok.
2.) Study. I hope i'm doing ok
3.) Work. i hope i did everything ok.
4.) Gym. When will I start?
5.) Coffee, When can i give you up?
6.) Food. My saviour.
7.) life in general. I think way too much.

-lmc

day 3

8 ways to win your heart

1.) Make me smile when I already have tears in my eyes
2.) make me laugh when I have my serious face on
3.)Be the one I run to when I need to vent
4.) Make me feel special by a simple text
5.) Surprise me
6.) Build me up to break me down
7.) Be a daily passing thought
8.) Be the reason why everything bad feels so small

I honestly don't know how somebody can win my heart, so I won't tell you how you can win my heart. I'll just tell you what happens when somebody wins my heart.

-lmc

day 2

9 things about yourself- It's already in a blog i made earlier :(
1.) i'm naive
2.)I'm lame
3.)I think I contradict myself too much because i'm flimsy
4.) I say everything that's on my mind
5.) I'm extremely indecisive
6.) I want to be able to somehow change the world for the better
7.) I'm a fast talker, fast walker but slow learner
8.) I don't trust people no matter how much i adore them
9.)I think too much about too little, and too little about too much

-lmc

day 1

Tumblr challange?

Her: you're incredible, amazing but not invincible. You push yourself too hard cause you know you can, but that doesn't mean you should. My rock when I'm unstable. I don't even want to imagine how crazy I would be without you.

Him: Still amazing after all this time :) Please don't lose that about yourself

Her: Looking at you is almost equivalent to looking at a mirror of myself. I find it so goddam hard to make good girl friends at uni, and you have no doubt been my best while being at uni, for that I thank you :) You act like my best friend, sister and sometimes mom and I appreciate you so much :) Undoubtfully amazing:)

Him: You deserve better. I can honesly say I only want the best for you. You're amazing. That's just it. I hope you end up with someone I can look at and just be in awe. Cause that's what you deserve at the end of the day. You're gonna make any girl the happiest girl ever. Seriously.

Her: Undoubtfully naive in the best and worst way possible. You unintentionally use it to you're adventage without even realising. Naive to the point where it touches stupidity, but I can't say much cause I would probably do the same in your position. Rrgardless, you have a heart of gold, which is so innocent and non corrupt I can't help but admire that.

Him: Bro's for life. Gonna keep it short and sweet. My listener when I need to vent, my bro when I need to drink and one of my closest friends when I need you there :)

Her: The biggest love/ hate relationship of my life. I hate the things you do and say but I know you unintentionally mean it. One on one you're amazing but you succumb to society's pressure and you become the biggest asshole in the world.

Him: We're no longer as close as we use to be. We've both changed, unsure if its for the best or worst. mine? undoubtfully the worst which is probably why we're so distant. I blame me, I blame you, I blame us.

Her: You are living proof that just because you do bad things does not mean you're a bad person. :) Regardless of how you see yourself, I think you're a little ball of sunshine :) simply put :)

Her: One of the only people I have disliked so much for no direct reason. I don't think you're even half as nice, mature or even caring as you present yourself to be. Ulterior motives and manipulation. I lack respect for you. You are the sole reason I trust my instincts but in saying that, you are the sole reason I hate assumptions.

-lmc

walls

' people walk in and out of our lives so easily, so effortlessly, it's no wonder people have walls.

We learn to trust our instincts when we find we can't trust anyone. We learn we can't trust anyone when we find we should trust our instincts'.

-lmc

realisation

'That moment you realise that there are more reasons to dislike someone then there is to like someone.
Begging you to prove me wrong, but this is the one test you always seem to fail.'

-lmc

Listen

' a wise band once said,

'don't stop,never give up...hold your head high till you reach the top. When the world seems like it's too tough bring it all back to you'

Now they may not have any credidentials in psychology or what not, but those wise words were foreever embedded in my head.

Now you. Yes you. I want you to read these words and actually anatomise them. Sometimes, I don't know why you push yourself to limits so unbearable they make me shiver a tinge. But in saying that, I can understand why your lifestyle does seem so appealing to you.The fact that you're busy 24/7 means that when you're busy physically doing something you no longer have to be busy mentally. This procrasination of thinking is not giving yourself more time, it's just allowing you to avoid inevitable situations. Now I'm not saying to go off the walls and overthink everything to the same extent I do, i'm telling you to calm your shit down. You're incredible and amazing but you don't need to be over productive or busy burning yourself out to know that. Just be you- It's worked for the last 19 years or so. :)

-lmc

Introduce Yourself

Hi :)

My name is Helen :) I'm a walking contradiction, too much of too many polar opposites that are taken to the extreme. I'm naive because its my reason and my excuse. I tend to go woth the flow, but overthink things that should either be in hindsight or left for 'Future Helen'. I push myself to every limit possible until I physically AND mentally can no longer tank it. I like to think that one day i can save the world because i've never seen anybody save everybody but i know for a fact that everybody can save somebody. Although I pretend that I'm not...I act like a complete girl. I'm irrational, impatient, I overthink, overanalyse and overreact. I prefer experience over books. I'm positively content. I know i could be a hell of a lot happier but at the same time i'm happy with the way things are knowing it could be a hell of a lot worse. I'm a realistic optimist. I like to smile because i find it sexy in others and try and bring my a-game everyday. I am lame. I am Helen. :)

-lmc

reattach

'you hate the way it is, because you miss the way it was.

You learn to deal with content. Not because we settle at being a little less happier than we know we could be but because we learn that we could be a hell of a lot less happier at any given moment'

-lmc

letter of content

dear subconscious,

there is no reason for this dislike. You have never disliked someone so much for no direct reason. wtf is going on up there?

yours sincerely,

Helen