jeff

dear jeff,

you are great <3

xx.

lmc :)

virtues

'i'm either really stupid or really forgiving.
I used to think i was just really forgiving,
but now that I think about it...
I think i'm just really stupid.
Let's just see how it pans out.'

-lmc

blank

'cause that's my state of mind.
I don't know who I am, who I'm going to be or who I was.
I'm just blank, a blank canvas with nothing there just waiting for some fantastic artist to draw a pretty picture that will take my breath away. I'm waiting.
Faces come and faces go, yet still no artist.'

-lmc

friends

'i don't miss you, i miss who you were...

friends come and friends go, People enter our lives just as easily as people leave it. We eventually get hurt so we learn not to depend on others and to fend for ourselves. We get betrayed so we learn to trust noboody but ourseleves and when it comes down to it, people learn to keep friendships that don't need high maintenance'

-lmc

easy

' i don't think you understand how easily you can make me smile'
:)

-lmc

regret

regret is up to your own discretion.
It's your choice, can you honestly say you do?
Look at everything surrounding you,
now take a breather and discover what's within.
You have been moulded by the actions you've taken.
Regret nothing, appreciate everything.

-lmc

for you :)

for every person that has been called weird :) yeah, it's the ordinary people showing their jealousy :) hahahahha

oh gosh this hits close to home hey ;) LOL i think most of my close friends CANNOT be called ordinary :) yeah too awesome to be ordinary. I may find ordinary people in the supermarket, but at least I found you when I needed too <3 :) ordinary is so ave

-lmc

need

u don't need to tell me cause I already know :)

p.s. ness is leaving me for a bit to go to stinkapore. why do most of my closest friends come there? her, l.lim and isma. u guys smell, but hey at least ur not viet so u have one over me (y) well done.
p.p.s- i'm gonna miss u nesssss! :( I'll prob just like become all anti social until u come back. LOl enjoy it hun :)

-lmc

yell

sometimes yelling does work
cause sometimes one yell,
can change everything.
Cause when they yell, you listen, and think.
So right now all i can think is
'where did it all go wrong, how did it end up here'
that and 'man, honesty is a bitch hey'

-lmc

sleep

it's currently 10:05pm and i'm just about ready to go to bed.
what has life come too? seriously.
I'm either just growing up way too quickly and not wanting to enjoy teenage years, or even possibly just getting more boring as a person. I'm gonna go with eh first one, the latter would be pretty hard. i honestly don't do much these days

-lmc

p.s. how CUTE is teengae dream? my gosh ' i finally found you, my missing puzzle piece...i'm complete :$' like seriously...nawwwww :x hahahahahahahahaha
i want that bloody puzzle necklace now. so cute! :)
p.p.s i realise it's an old song but man i like songs after they're popular. Liking them whilst theyre popular makes u feel way too conformed. Either like it before or after, lol yes i'm weird. thanks for being my friends guys :x hahahhaha

who knew?

a picture tells a thousand words. yeah, that and the fact that 1 sentence explains it all.

-lmc

memories

here's a story for you

About a year ago, i was shopping with my dear friend Evonne when i came across this magnificent scent. yes, it was the gorgeous girly smell that any girl could dream of. the beauty of Viva La Juicy. I looked at the bottle, oh gosh it was cute :x i looked closer and was thinking 'oh golly its in pink ribbon with complete blingness' oh how this thing was made for me:) But wait a minute! I suddenly had the urge to look at the price tag. 'oh gosh!' i thought to myself as i saw those triple figures. Even if i smelt like crap i would not spend that much on perfume! so thus, i walked away from one of the best goddam things that could have happened to me. What next? it never went on sale:(
Come 8th December 2010, I meet up with 2 of the most gorgeous people in the world. yes, you Evonne and Isma, you're beautiful. 'oh what's that?' i think to myself as they hand me a box. oh a late birthday present how sweet :x

And what was it? FREAKIN VIVA LA JUICY GIFT SET! and the box was pink. my gosh :x are my friends geng or what? ;)

xx.

-lmc

try again

there is only
"yes" and "no"

there are no maybes.

tits or gtfo

deny

it's undeniable, but we deny it because it makes life easier.
just admit it, we screwed up. bad.
At least we know it in our minds, sigh. when are we gonna face the truth?
never? acceptable

-lmc

scare

i'm gonna scare you away with all my insecurities. helen, insecurites? really. well apparently.
all my insecurities, presumptions, assumuptions EVERYTHING will make u think ive gone loco and i don't think that will change.
you're gonna look me in the eye and i'll look right back at you, but the difference? i'm gonna think you're an asshole for no goddam reason. hmm, the cons of being a girl.

-lmc

fight

It's come to that point. That one point we both knew it would end up, but both hoped for the best and expected the worse. We fight so much now it's hard to believe there's anything left for us to save. But at least i know why we fight. The fact that it's not the way it was hurts like a bitch and there's nothing we can do about it. The fact that we miss each others company stings and yet there's no antiseptic. The fact that we never have time and there's no pause button in reality makes it hard.

Yeah the reason we fight? cause we realise it's the only way we can get each others attention. think about it.

-lmc

mind

well if you don't mind, then it really doesn't matter?
LOL jks.
make up a choice and stick to it >=( GOSH.
don't tell me one thing and do something else cause it really does piss me off to the tee. It's such an asshole move and for you to do it so casually and effortlessly it's just an epic wtf? more wtf than complex cfp questions. my gosh. can u really be that selfish?
and for you: you know what? i don't give a flying fk anymore so u know what? fk u and ur fake niceness and just fk off u little attention seeking brat. FFS ur so immature it hurts. high squeals don't and fake voices don't mak eu the pretty cool cats in movies. no it just makes u look pathetic. fk u.
RAWR

more

'and i guess you mean more to me than i realised.
sigh, realisations suck man.'

-lmc

nights

ahhh hj's in the morning, jelly belly u will fail to leave me but its k, i'm learning to accept you :)

new song of the week? GIRLFRIEND

If i got it in the pink, i'll get her the light blue
Anyway we VIP we don't even need I.D.

This is for my girlfriend
This is for my This is for my girlfriend
This is for my This is for my girlfriend
This is for my BFF, girlfriend

how cute:D

xx.
lmc

feelings

'growing feelings to lose old ones

so yeah, turns out...i kinda miss you :)'

-lmc

free

lol, ur such a little slut ;)

seekers.

'so every time you open up your mouth,
it's just a way for you to seek attention.
don't do it. you know i don't like it.
Don't try to get sympathy from me.
People shouldn't feel sorry for themselves nor believe they deserve sympathy from others.
Don't do it.
so every time you're about to say something to get a reaction from people,
realise you just want attention. attention seekers are hell ave.

-lmc

late

'there's always that concept of
'it's just too late'.
sometime we go about thinking there's still time for things, when really we know the expiration date is long gone, but we want it so bad that we go for it anyway.
but really, the expiration date is there for a reason. Most of the time it's there so we don't get sick from it and end up getting some weird ass sickness or diarrhea or some crap.
looking at this is like looking at a box of forrerro roche expired by 2 months. it's just two month's so you decide to just have a bite and eat it anyway. if finance taught me right, the risk may be worth the reward, and bamn, there it is.... your stomach starts to grumble and you realise you should have just bought a new packet with 3 pieces for like $1.49...gg you.

-lmc

you wish jellofish

'sometimes i miss him and wish it was you i was missing,
sometimes i hug him and wish it was you im hugging,
then i realise how much i'm bugging...

so how to express this feeling, cause noone compares to you '


gosh LOl this song is so goddam old. but the filmclip is out! :D the boy makes it look pretty.
golly gosh

drinkies on fri or sat? cannot keep this jelly belly forever :x

-:D

break

'sometimes we break, so someone else can pick up the pieces.
fk that, sometimes we break cause we're so drained,
we bcome hollow, empty and it just makes it easier to break.
eos. i'm tired.
lets sleep.
i hate uni.
eos.
mlia.

-helen

Brennan

wrote this to inspire and motivate me:

"We all feel that life is sometimes too much
New friends grow distant while old friends lose touch
It's important to realise that life's just a ride
Fuck the external, and love what's inside
So Meng, study hard and get your degree
When you're a UWA graduate, chicks will blow you for free"



EXAMS GOT NOTHIN ON ME!!!!! OH YEAHHH
<3
mhl

replace

'we could go on and try to replace one another,
but we both know...
nobody is ever gonna be able to fill the mould we've created for one another,
the only thing left for them to do is break it'

-lmc

stand

i don't think i can stand by you anymore.
i think it's time i let myself fall.
fall from grace to fall for you.
sigh, and i think my level of pride just fell

-lmc

sugar

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE!!!

dear isma :)

isma, when i first met you i thought you were an odd one, which was the only reason i remembered you, but i 'm glad that you are the way you are cause i'm ever so grateful that we became friends. never, have i met someone so caring, sweet and genuinely nice (besides evonne) rofl but i'm really happy that we became such great friends. i honestly don't know how i would have turned out without you guys :) so, i hope today will just be a reminder to everyone how great of a person you are :) i hope you have a fantastic day! but if not, even if it's only half as fantastic as you, it'll still be one of the most fabulous days u will ever experience :)

happy birthday dear and i hope that everything you want comes true :) we will catch up asap after exams :)

much love,

helen xx. :)

miss

maybe i don't miss the old you,
maybe i miss that old feeling.

maybe it's time to stop saying 'i miss you'
and start saying 'i miss us'

its changed. we've changed.
-lmc

WHY IS YOUR BLOG SO UGLY!

:(:(:(

that's so mean! LOL. well here's a little story :)
On a cold and lonely night, Helen was bored as hell and decided to try out different layouts in the blog. Little did she know that the changes would remain permanent until one of us had time to fix the problem aka after exams.

p.s. the word ugly is so harsh LOL I was thinking more along the lines of unco. LOL

Ask me anything

with me

cause it's true. I'm a little less awesome without you :)

-lmc

up

'giving up on us,
cause you gave up on me.'

-lmc

reason

everything.
I've never really been a believer that everthing happens for a reason, but in my moment of procrasination, reason is the only explanation.
there's a reson i have a coffee addiction- it shows what i'm willing to give up a coffee for.
there's a reason I'm so behind this semester- It shows me that my focus diminsihed this semester and i need to work on it for next semester
there's a reason we don't talk- it sucks but neither cared enough to try
there's a reason you came back into my life- I'm a little less awesome without you
and there's the reason that some people aren't here with you today. Fight. Was that so much to ask for? maybe i expect too much, or maybe you cared too little.

-lmc

cherish

cherish the moments and the memories...
cause i don't know how many more we're going to have.

-lmc

infatuation

i love...love the things you do,
and i, I can't keep my eyes, my mind off you
i'm infatuatteeddd... :)

impossible

'impossibility comes from us being too lazy to find answers.'

sometimes i find things to be impossible just because i can't be bothered trying to find the answers. push aside. avoid. procrastinate.
it's like battered women syndrome. it'll keep happening till i explode with a KABOOM. yeah
thanks for the lesson rhianna and eminem.

-lmc

thoughts

now i can say that i would not care, if you were not there,
tell myself that i'll be fine without ya, but i would die if i was not around ya,
and i can try to convince you i don't need to be with you,
but my only thoughts are thoughts about ya,

cause it's too late, there's no escape, might as well face it,
baby, we're stuck with each other (stuck with each other) - ain't nothin i can do about it,
it's been too long, it's been too strong - yes, we belong here,
baby, we're stuck with each other (stuck with each other)

:)

ok

and until i know you're ok,

i know i'll never be ok.

i'm messed up. that's all :)

side note : originality is the best surprise:)

thanks a bunch :) i think you topped it this year :)

-lmc:)

sweet

who knew people could be sweeter than mudcake?
i sure as hell didn't.
you guys...seriously, made my day.
from the small little messages, to the blogs, to the small slices of cake as well as handling my crankiness due to lack of 'protein' LOL
i'm sorry but i appreciate it :)
intangible gifts are the best gifts :)


...on my own,
i know what i'd do
on my own,
i'll be leaning on you ;)

waiting for the 11:59 :)


YOU GUYS ARE TOO SWEET :) I feel so lucky just to have you guys in my life :)

-lmc

surprise :D

Surprise me! it's the only thing i really want :)
really :)


-lmc

mutually exclusive

whatever happens next, happens for a reason.
I don't know much...the only thing i know is that...
this will open doors and slam the doors that were ajar.
close the door for this is the closest to closure we will ever find.


-lmc

believe

good afternoon :)

i bet you haven't opened up one of my rambles for a while. miss it don't you? it's ok, i would too, i'm pretty awesome. Anyways, i have a very very wise friend that gave me some very wise advice. LOL. i'm totally kidding, we were just having a convo about friends.

believe it or not, i don't really believe that we're meant to have set friends. I think anybody can be friends with one another because we begin to hang out with them so much that you grow a tolerance to the crap they do, but if somebody else were to do half the shit they did, we'd cut sick. So yeah, the more you hang out with somebody the closer you guys become, not because you like them for them, but because you grow a tolerance. lol, it's called adapting. LOL, you adapt with the people you're with. yeah.

-lmc

retaliate

some things just can't be helped
please don't hate me.
-lmc

mixeddd

i won't lie.
half the time I can't bloody stand you.
I know that you're bad for me,
but i keep you close,
cause i know you make me happy.

lmc

Lockout

she comes and goes, walks in and out so easily, so effortlessly
the promises she makes only ever remembers vaguely, so vacuously
i bring her into my life, just want for her to stay
but when we fight i see her go and that's the price i pay
i hate to see her go, and it hurts to watch her leave
i'm running out of patience, no more aces up my sleeve
so lock her up and see her cry
cos nothing hurts more than hearing goodbye
im sorry for what i've done, my stubbornness and my doubt
but cutting me from your life is not the easy way out.
so lets work it out, pick ourselves up from the anger-drenched mud,
and show me what it means to you to be truly more than blood.


-mh

perfection

'If life was a fairy tale,
If we lived in the movies,
or even the books,
i'll be the ave girl
and you'd be the perfect guy.
But we don't live in the movies, the books and life isn't a fairy tale.
hell, It seems you don't even know my name...






...yet;)

lol, lets change the stars eh ;)

-lmc

communication

'it brings us together,
it breaks us apart.'

-lmc

Influence

Perhaps we aren't gullible.
Maybe, the reason we allow poeple to influence us,
is because it gives us a perspective to a third person point of view.
Just saying.

-lmc

mature

and sometimes i think i grew up too quickly.
I can't seem to construct a proper conversation with younger people,
and all my friends are older than me.
Except Ness and Julie, who by, technicality, are older than me, but they're both mature as hell anyway. I wonder if I missed out on a big part of my life by growing up too quickly?
But then again, i'd rather be a 50 yr old woman in a 18 yr olds body, then some cool cat at tz taking skankalicious photos.

-lmc

fall

and sometimes we fall,
just because we don't want to be the last one standing

-lmc

realisaton #12

respect

Respect, reputation and money have the same core qualities.
All the power hungry people in the world seem to want it.


...that and the fact that it's so hard to gain, and easy to lose.
One choice and i lost all the respect i had for you.
6 months to gain, 1 minute to lose.


-lmc

rage

sometimes, we deserve to break, rage, bleed and feel pain to remind ourselves we're human.

i've been broken, i played basketball and my toe bled, and yeah that was painful, so guess what?
it's my turn to rage

so what now?
lol, do i just say what i feel like others would? what do i say?
that your comments burn me more than the sun burns albinos?
that what? you freaking piss me off when you make assumptions. yeah, they make an ass of me and you, so don't do it. if you don't mind looking like an ass, don't make me look like one.
that what? you just bug the shit out of me atm?
that what? you don't even realise half the things i tell you, cause you brush me off, like a dirty little fly on a hot summers day?
give me a break. no, just give me a minute or two out oof your goddam life to realise some things.

ffs hey

realisation #11

strength

'That moment where you realise it doesn't even hurt anymore.
Maybe you didn't let go, get stronger or grow immunity.
maybe you just learned to grow up'

-lmc

realisation #10

acceptance

That moment that you realise,
the only reason you no longer care,
is because you know you're not allowed too.

-lmc

realisation #9

eclipse

And it was like an eclipse, things that you could only read about.
You knew they exist, so when the time came,
why didn't you see it?
It was right there, but you were a minute late.
damn, cause you knew it could be beautiful.
damn, next time and you swear you won't miss it.

-lmc

thoughts

sometimes i wonder which one would hurt more

when you would get hurt, cause i would get angry because i cared,
or the fact that i no longer care.

probably the first, cause you probably don't realise the latter exists.

hmmm

sometimes we over think cause we know the other won't.

-lmc

realisation #8

influence

cause sometimes, the only reason it makes sense is because it's been reasoned out. =.=
motherchucker

-lmc

realisation #7

drama

drama is only created from our own insecurities.

-lmc

realisation #6

drain

sometimes we drain people,
just to see, how much they can really take.

-lmc

realisation #5

enough

perhaps the only reason it seems nobody is good enough,
is because I was never good enough,
so I assume that I'll never be enough for anyone.
Not the vice versa

-lmc

realisation #4

life

life is a tug of war.
people are always going to try and pull you to their side.

However, it probably has never occured to them, by doing so,
they're actually tearing you apart.

-lmc

Do me a favour meng? Renata hit me in the balls, so I think you should give her an angry frosted dragon. Plox? <3 tim

:O but did you deserve it timmy?

I'll hear her side of the story and make my judgement then.

Ask me anything

skanks

'why are all the people i care about
or close to me
all such skanks?

the saying must be true.
opposites DO attract =)


(yes, you too ea you slut) '

-mh

realisation #3

race

sometimes, regardless of how fast or long we run,
we won't make it to the finish line.
simple because, we didn't go to the right starting point.

-lmc

realisation #2

care.

I didn't stop caring, i stopped believing.
I guess when it comes down to it, you only put in as much effort into someone that's willing to do the same back to you.
SO when you act sweet to me, i'll be sweet.
be a bitch and i'll be a bitch.
When you stopped trying, it felt like you stopped caring...
and after a while i guess i stopped believing you would care.
i let go. But, i never stopped caring.

-lmc

knots

damn u.

u forgot ur cupcake.
and it was noughts and crosses.
i'm obviously not very happy with u


har.har.har

sometimes we make up lil jokes, to realise we were the biggest joke of it all

-lmc

ness

dearest ness/ b1/ skank/ slut / one of the closest friens i'll ever have:)

since my phone decided to ko on me, i couldnt message to say happy birthday so i decided to blog it:)

Happy birthday dear:) i hope you have the most fantastic day ever!
i really do:)i've only known you for a bit but it seems like a lifetime:)
in that short period of time, we've been by each others side through the up's and low's and i know it's weird (we only became friends from weird circumstances ;) but i'm so glad we are friends:)
i hope whatever you're looking for today, you'll receive because behind all that ice your heart is made up of, i know there's a beating heart that is filled with gold.
and i know that because i know that even when you say your heart is made of ice, when i look at you, you're one of the nicest, most caring people i know:)well duh! you have to be, to be a good friend of mine ;)

so i would like to take out this 5 minutes or so to say...

Happy Birthday :)
i'm sure it'll be amazing, cause let's face it...you are:)

xx.
Helen

realisation #1

so yeah, i think i'm actually stupid. why?
well think about it...

If you were dumb enough to walk out of my life,
i must be pretty freakin stupid to let you back in.
I should have closed the door and stormed out.
RAWR.
i'm passing out second chances faster than sluts pass on STI's.
Yeah, they're both crappy in this world

-lmc

guess

LOL, i think i've come to a point in my life where everything is funny.
The accumulation of crap that goes down has finally drove me crazy.
well crazier than before =]
So, this month, will be a month of surprises :)
not to mention birthdays:)
2 of my closest friends birthdays are coming up:)
yes, that's you ness and julie:)

Anyways, i think i'm happy with teh way things are atm. LOl, i think things turned out teh way i thought they would.
oh wells. as i said. shit happens. =)

-lmc

Day 30

Your reflection in the mirror

'imperfect. :)'

-lmc



"god you're so cute
but why do your nipples look sad?"


-mh

Day 29

The person you want to tell everything to, but too afraid to

"My sister =X
There's so much she needs to know"

-mh

'there are so many things i want to tell you,
but than i would just seem weak and vulnerable.
I'm gonna be your strength when you feel weak.
And when all hell breaks loose,
and you're left standing in the middle of a big black hole,
i'll stand next to you, just so you don't feel alone.'

-lmc

Day 28

Someone that changed your life


"You changed my life so much.
If it wasnt for you i would be a much bigger slut than what i am today
God knows what kind of diseases i would have if it wasnt for you.
Every dark cloud has its silver lining i suppose. "


-mh

'you, even though you may not realise it.
You shaped me to be the person i am.
I'm selfish, impatient at times immature,
but I have people willing to move mountains for me.
I guess i didn't turn out too badly ;)'

-lmc

Day 27

The friendliest person you knew for only one day

"One very memorable customer.
She has a bf working up north so needed to buy a modem for him
Was super friendly and flirtacious =X
Very memorable because she was a ranga, so it changed my mind slightly
About all redheads not having souls.
Though, she came back in the following week, sporting a new blonde look.
I guess even rangas know theyre ave"


-mh

' i meet friendly people everyday.
But the friendliest person i've ever met was a customer i'm pretty sure.
Told me that any person to have me was gonna be lucky.
wait, that's not friendly, that's just complimenting.
whatever, she still sticks in my mind'

-lmc

Day 26

The last person you made a pinky promise to


"hahaha its more like
the last person you made a pinky promise WITH
cos that would have to be pumpkin and you better keep your promise ! so i can hi5 you =X"

-mh

'i don't make promises.
promises are words fulfilled by empty actions,
just so we could have a moment or two,
of knowing we just gave someone the satisfaction of knowing we give a shit about them.'

-lmc

Day 25

The person you know is going through the worst of times


"Mummy =( sorry i don't make it any easier for you"

-mh

'you. and i know it hurts and i know you wanna break down and cry.
But even if you did, you wouldn't show me nor tell me.
You've been my rock, or in dota terms, that goddam tree everyone runs to for good health.
I've always run to you and i guess you gave away all your strength when you kept passing it onto us. But now i'm at full health and i just wanna pass it to you.
Let me be the strength you don't have cause as i said,
even when the world puts you at your lowest,
i will never look down on you,
i'll simply stand next to you and tell them to look down on me as well.
cause with bitches like that, i really don't give a crap.
You are more important and i just wish you knew how much i cared.'

-lmc

Day 24

The person that gave you your favourite memory

"Victor 'victorious' Ngoon
For his infamous quote on that infamous night.

"Once you pop, you can't stop!"

God i love that guy"

-mh

' Everyone seems to pass me one great memory i will never forget.
It's when i remember these memories i wish i never let go.
How is that possible?
I let go of people, not memories'

-lmc

Day 23

The last person you kissed


"I dont actually remember her name but... ;)
Of course it was my from my lovely gf as I left her house
Nom nom nom"


-mh

'wished it was you'

-lmc

Day 22

Someone you want to give a second chance to


"I waited for a whole year
And you finally came through
The second chance was always there
Cos I am Me, and You are You =)"

-mh

'Second chances aren't gviven, they're earned.
If you want a second chance you earn it back.
Make an effort to be in my life and i'll make an effort to stay in yours
end of story.'

-lmc

Day 21

Someone you judged by their first impression


"I first met her at metrocity
A drunk skank falling about and trying to hookup with one of my friends
First impression: This chick is ave.
Second time i met her was when she came to business school from metros
Drunk, falling about AGAIN and bitch didn't even remember my name.
Second impression: This chick is a drunk bitch.
Third time i met her was at a friends birthday and she gave a glorious account
of her recent victory at hooking up with whoever.
Third impression: This chick is a skank.

2 Years on and that ave skanky drunk bitch is my girlfriend =) x
ACKS "


-mh

'Everyone. I judge everyone. Only difference is, i choose not to act on my judgments.
Sometimes when i meet someone i really don't wanna befriend cause of what i've heard, my mind works like Jane's on Brady bunch,
where it's like
' be friends. no they're a slut. be friends!'
yeah i' freakin weird.
But always see the worse in people and treat them as if you see the best.
I'm sorry if i judged you based on first impressions,
but the reason we're not close? yeah you actually fulfill those judgmemnts'

-lmc

somtimes

sometimes you need to have that feeling?
you know the one? not to sound emo or anything,
but sometimes, you need to feel like you've lost everything
to realise,
-what you had, what you have and the shitload you have to gain.
i'm sorry i lost you, but i'll get you back.
you're with me, and i'm gonna make you stay even if i needa get superglue,
and i know you're gonna be in my future, even if i do have to stalk you

-lmc =.=
(me crying...cause i get all ugly and my eyes go small. oh wait they're the same size as asians LOLOL'

exception

i'm sorry.
but i tried. I really did. All i've known is to give it my all.
But when your all is not enough, no other action can suffice,
so i'm left with words.
and all i can say is...
i'm sorry.

-lmc

Day 20

The one that broke your heart the hardest


"Probably her.. or her."


-mh

'lol, wouldn't that mean someone's swapped positions with me?
yeah, i don't think so buddy.
this heart is made of ice,
it can't break, just shatter into pieces and melt.'

-lmc

Day 19

Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

"You, when you're angry.
I dont like it when you're angry."


-mh

'my top 5
eos'

-lmc

Day 18

The person that you wish you could be

"I wish I could be like Yu!(han)
So smart and brown and loved by all!
except I'd like also like to keep my balls"


-mh

'freakin sailor moon.
she's amazing.
end of story

lol jks, cause then i culd be a super hero and save lives :x'

-lmc

Day 17

Someone from your childhood

"Thomas, my best friend in primary school
You were such a daydreamer
so innocent and cute!
I think you were my very first white friend =X
I wonder where you are now? and what you're doing?"

-mh

'it's weird how long we've known each other,
we're similar yet different and at different stages of our lives,
we're close.
But the vast majority of the time we're distant,
cause we're so goddam different.
but when we're close, we're tight and we're like superglue.
And that's when i realise we're similar.
because at the end of the day we're just little girls needing someone's shoulder to cry on.'

-lmc

Helen :) why do you always seem so dog? as in, you dog everybody :@

so dear friend that ask me to write this on my own account. lol. you sad little thing but being the epic awesome person i am, i will tell the world why i am so epic at being dog.

1.) my schedule is freakin tight as. it's why i don't sleep.
2.) I don't like social events. i'd rather keep to myself
3.) i don't like people.
4.) i'm quality over quantity so i'd rather 5 close friends than a bajillion more friends. LOL thus, i really do put all my focus/ attention on those people
5.) i stay steady with people so the more often i see you, the more i try to make sure i see you that regular amount
6.) if i don't make plans with you or i avoid plans with you, then obviously i don't like you very much.
7.)the minute you dog me, i will dog you just to piss you off.
8.) i'm not a very nice person
9.) wtf, i saw u today. why would u call me dog? ass. LOl

and that is why i am a dog. i am sorry but the minute you walk away, it means someone else can creep in. LOL i'm sorry.

Ask me anything

one of those days

it's just one of those days where you just don't wanna be around anyone just because u don't need to be.
yeah, one of those days where you're just angry.
don't take it personally, but i just don't like you sometimes.
don't take it personally, but you piss me off for no reason.
don't take it personally, but i can't trust you anymore.

write the word, say it out. It means absolutely shit all without an action behind it.
a promise in the dark hey? i can hear it but i can't see a goddam thing and don't tell me to get glasses cause i have 20/20 vision ass.

Day 16?

Someone that’s not in your state/country

Miss chrystal copland :)
you missy, make me so goddam proud and i know what you think.
yeah, we're only friends cause of our love for coffee...and the mirror.
nah jks, you my dear, have been my bestie for about 7 years now.
Even though it seems our worlds are polars of one another, we both still make an effort to catch up. You're gorgeoous, amazing, smart and have an amazing personality :)
you are acvtual proof that distance makes the heart grow fonder :)
LOL we'd probably kill each otehr by now if you stayed in perth.
oh golly, us and our schitzo personalities :x
you my dear, are freakion epic.

xx.

-lmc



"All my relatives! If only my chinese was better =("

-mh

Day 15:)

The person you miss the most

- I would say the old me, just because she was caught in a tornado and barely survived. But guess what? fyl cause someone found her remains and she's coming back. Oh no, poor things...the bitch is back!
oh wait, she never left to begin with. lol, the focus of her bitchiness was just somewhere else.
ahhhhh the lameness that is my life is making a comeback. See, if buffy could die and come back, why the hell can't I?
haha fyl and my lame analogies :D

-lmc


"I miss my top 3 the most"

-mh

Day 14

Someone you've drifted way from

"Nips. I'm sorry. but also disappointed."

-mh

'mr l.lim, my best friend :)
haha but we're getting back to normal again. i'm letting go and you're holding on :)
and at the end of the day when i'm upset you'll look down and tell me not to cry cause it'll make me look ugly:) lol, and you wonder why we're best friends ROFL

the cheerleader and jock of uni are back :x ROFL;)'

-lmc

Day 13

Someone you wish could forgive you

'There is only one person that i wished forgiveness from.
And she finally has.

But on a smaller scale of seriousness, i'll borrow THIS from ness:

"oh! i know :)
( forgive me for breaking your heart. it wasn't intentional. i'm sorry )
x (insert number) :( "
'


-mh

'p'

pretty sure i ruined your high school life.
i'm sorry for being such a bitch but american media can really misguide you.
i thought i would be cool and powerful by being a vain mean girl,
but really i was just an asshole
i was the reason why girls had low self esteem.
i'm sorry. forgive me? if you don't, that sucks,
if you do, i won't believe it. lose.
this is why it's not cool to be mean'

-lmc

Day 12

The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

"I think honestly, the person i hate most
is Rusty Gates.
Everytime i see that soulless creepy four eyes
I rage. God i rage so hard.
The pain you bring to my eyes and ears is unfathomable.
His sister's kinda cute tho'


-mh

'pain comes from my thinking. nothing physical can really pain me,
cause that's where hurt comes in.
so the person that pains me the most?
the one's that cross my mind the most frequent
...but for the wrong reasons.'

-lmc

Day 11

A deceased person you wish you could talk to



'Michael Jackson. I have so many questions for you!

"SO did you really OD?
or did somone murder you? =O
Is the Illuminati real?
If they are how do i defeat them?
Do you think i'm cute?
and would you buy ME a bentley?
and mikey, can u please please please plaase teach me to moonwalk?"'

-mh

'marilyn monroe- for you are amazing.
your quotes make my day,
for your words are the driving force for the lives of many'

-lmc

Day 10

Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

'The answer would be all of you.
There's just not enough time;
never enough time =(
sorry'

-mh

'my family. they're the ones that will be left standing with you,
even when you feel like you're seven inches tall,
a foot from the floor,
and everybody's already slammed the door,
saving you from the fall. <3

-oh and then there's you leonard:)'

-lmc

I wonder if u have www.ask. fm account. would like to follow you there. it's like formspring, but smth new.

no,our forms spring isn't even popular :( u should ask me more questions so i can answer them and feel smart:)

Ask me anything

Day 9

'I would love to meet Rain.
If i did i would ask him to ravage me (no homo)
Then he would dance for me, (no homo)
and then we'd hold hands while he serenaded me with korean songs (no homo)
and then we'd fall asleep together (he'd be big spoon - no homo)'

-mh

'chace crawford. cause then...when i think of you, i won't have jason derulo
's 'what if' in my head. yeah, cause you don't even know my name :(

ohhh...and nelson mandela, for your strength inspires me,
your courage motivates me and your passion brings hope to me :)'

-lmc

bitches be hating

'you know what?
fk off.
i'm sick of this'

-lmc

day 8

'i don't like talking to you on msn, because you're better in person.
i like talking to you on msn, because you make things interesting.
you let me realise things.
I make you doubt things.
Both so different, yet so similar at the same time;)'

-lmc


'4chan. nuff said.'

-mh

Day 7

'i thought for sure i was in love with you
and you are the first to bring me even close to tears
if i was a more sentimental person i would have definitely shed a tear.
if i was a more intelligent person i would have done things differently.
if i was a more patient person i would have surely caught you.
damn wascaly wabbit'

-mh

'you let go, before you gave me the chance to hold on'
-lmc

Day 6

"A stranger is just a friend waiting to happen.
A stranger is the most exciting person in the world.
For they could be anyone you want them to be.
Or the person you least expect them to be.
Or the person you've always wanted to be.
Or the person you've always wanted to be With"

-mh

'at one point in your life everybody was a stranger.
your best friend, your partner, your frienemy
so what does that tell you?
never jusge a book by its cover.
you see all the crap your friends go through and you symapthise,
so when it comes to strangers,
be kinder than necessary for everyone you meet is fighting their own battles'

-lmc :)

Day 5

"When I was a kid my dream was to be a clown.
15 years on and i guess I've kinda succeeded.
Joke's on me."

-mh

'me dream was to be a superhero, so i began idolising sailor moon.
then my dream was to have superpowers, so i managed to collect a group of friends to become the 'charmed ones'.
then my dream was to become a doctor to save lives, but my braincells failed me :(
now my dream is to save people.oh did i say dreams, i meant goals :)
you can't save everybody but i sure as hell can save somebody'

lmc:)

Day 4

'She has so much potential but lacks discipline.
She's actually quite pretty but is way too vain.
She is lazy as all hell but helps out when needed.
She has a short temper and constant mood changes.
She once told me that the paint brand "WATTYL" meant:
"Western Ausralia, Talk To You Later"
She is friendly to all strangers.
She is too friendly to boys.
She is like a miniature version of myself.
She is my sister.'

-mh

'i do things that piss you off.
you do things that piss me off.
we get on each others nerves,
but at the end of the day
blood is thicker than water.
anywhere i go, in my grandest moments,
in the face of adversity...i know you'll be there.
and just like that, i'll move a mountain for you :)
even if they don't give me a shovel,
i'll dig with my hands, and move as moch of the mountain that i can.
Even if it's just cause you're too lazy to walk around it :)'

-lmc

butterflies

and sometimes i get these butterflies in my stomach when i see you.
i'm nervous, i shake, i even manage to stutter.
now, i'm not someone who's up for murder to any poor creature,
but those butterflies in my tummy?
yeah, they need to be murdered.

-lmc

questions

i wanna know why you treat me right, i wanna know why you hold me tight, each and every night, it keeps me up at night, thinking bout...
yeah no.
don't ask questions. don't even think that much, cause thinking can only create problems.
drama is created by our insecurities and over thinking situations. just smile and laugh. seriously
thinking can only cause baggs and apologies. lol. now lets not be the little trolls underneath bridges :)
sometimes living in denial is easier then living in reality :)

i think my skantasticness is making me sick. i needa start wearing more clothes. LOL
whooopsie doopsies. meh ;)
xx. lmc

Day 3

My parents

-Because of you, i'm afraid of not giving it my all. i'm afraid to make mistakes. I'm afraid to make many choices in life.
I'm scared of hurting people. I'm scared of hurting me.
I think too much when i don't need to, i think too little when i do.
I have an ugly nose :( and my brain doesn't work half the time.
i get irritated at myself because i dont ever reach these impossible expectations i've set for myself.
I'm stubborn, sometimes selfish and get irritated easily.
BUt because of you, I have the strength to do so many thing.
I've reached limits that i thought were only seen by sailor moon.
I don't liek to judge and i try to help others out when possible. I put a smile on my face even when all is going into the crappy parts. I try my best. I have opportunities.
I have security and comfort when i need it. You make me smile when you try to be funny. You think i can excel at anything i do. I leanrt that there is such a thing as love :)

There's a million reasons to hate me, but thanks for loving the 10 parts of me everyone else forgets about.
-lmc


'They gave me everything i could ever need.
So when the day comes i shall repay them,
with everything they could ever want.'

-mh

Dae 2

'My first crush was a girl in highschool.
Year 8 was a daunting time, new school, new possibilities, new responsibilities.
And new feelings =X
She was, in my minds eye, the perfect girl I thought.
She was (and still is) super smart, high class, elegant, and multi talented.
Everything I'm not so I guess that's where the attraction lay.
I thought I was in love, and did stupid ass things like follow her around school with a rose for Valentine's Day.
However like always I was too dorky and had terrible timing.
To think I lost out to a gwailo, GG my life.
I swore I would never love again, that no girl could ever hurt me like she did.
And THAT is how I became a jerk.
But thanks to you Lisan, I am who I am today.'

-mh

'in all honesty i hate having crushes cause they usually correlate with crushed hearts.
I think the hardest things about crushes is that they're never said,
and so all you can do is watch from a distance and try to play cool.
i think the worst things about crushes is that they make it hard to remain friends, which is why we silence them. lol but then again i am a cynic.
i think i'm gonna go sit in the corner now with my 50 cats now.
why have crushes when you can have cats? :x
my first crush was tuxedo mask, i blame him for me having to buy about 50 cats.
yeah him and him allowing me to have ridiculously high expectations for guys.'

-lmc

changing seasons :)

grey cloud:
i miss the old me man. where the hell did she go?
seriously, reading my old posts. how emo was that. seriously.
that's just disgusting. it's called build a bridge and get over it, instead i've become that little ugly troll underneath it scaring the crap out of those poor goats.
poor goats that suffer cause i get upset at stupid things.
yeah i'm immature, insincere, selfish and an ass but i shouldn't burden others with it.
i've become hell ave. what's wrong with me?
sigh
silver lining :
I found my rocks again. :) i think i've finally gone back to earth. LOL
oh dear, how i've miss them. you don't actually realise what you've lost till it's found again cause you learn to loive without them but when they're back it's like the missing puzzle is put in. YOU think it doesn't make a differene but it changes the whole picture :)

who is your best friend?and you aren't allowed to say u don't have one and be all like "i dont have a best friend, i've just got lotsa good friends". none of that bs plx

meng- yuhan, no other words are needed for this one :)

Helen- I don't think i even have friends man, let alone best friends. I have rocks. they keep me stable and when i fly away i become a mess going no direction and they drag me back to earth and hold me down. i guess they're my 'best friends'. my rocks follow me everywhere i go amazingly enough. It just seems that sometimes we may distance ourselves cause someone moves them away or i fly away for a bit but sooner or later we reconnect. I don't have a permanant best friend. just permanent rocks, and i do my best to add not subtract them. lol, they're only subtracted when someone moves them, chips them and they change and aren't the same anymore. go figure.

Ask me anything

concealer

flaws can only be judged subjectively.
so when will you realise what you're using to cover up yours?
me? a smile and a nice little greetin
it's not confidence, it's customer serivce.
see how easily things can get muddled up?
the beauty of concealer is that sometimes its so well applied, people won't even know until you tell them :)
but be careful so you don't become dependent upon it ;)


-lmc

objective state of mind

wanna know why i don't like making mistakes?
cause you always seemed like you never did
wanna know why i still believe i can save people?
cause i can see the way you did
Is it really worth it at the end of the day?
I finally realise i can't answer everything.

lmc

compare

i don't like how i always seem to compare myself to people.
I don't like how insecurities can cause so much drama.
I don't like how I can't trust myself to make my own choices.
I don't like a lot of things i do and say.
But I do like,
the people in my life that take me for who i am, the nutcase i am.
when people tell me why they like me as a person. i need that reassurance.
how everything comes and goes but seems to work out at the end.

i don't like how i don't seem to dwell up on the fact that the people in my life make my life absolutely fantastic.
I do like the fact that i'm learning to appreciate them one by one.

xx.
lmc

mechanisms

quiet days at work equate to loud days in the mind.
staring at a bunch of watches is a reflection of everything.
looking at that watch we got tony,
it's so clear what it's telling you, even with it's 3 dials.
everything is so spread out in that face yet so distinct.
look to the left, there's the 1 face but a gazillion things going on.
It's so hard to read, nothing's seperated everything is just meshed together.
and all i can think about is whether or not the guy that designed that could read it himself.
My life was like that watch, the one with the 3 different dials, i had one world with little worlds within it. I could tell them apart and they were so easy to read.
Now they meshed it all together and i can't read a goddam thing.

lmc

u

u freakin mean mother chucker :@
ARGH no just fkn ARGH

secrets

hell ave aye.

flashbacks

'too much pride to say it, too little not to recognise that i am'
Sleepless nights, mindless actions and empty promises have lead me to this blog.
I'm sorry because...
- I chose to let others words get the better of me and started to close you off. I'm terribly sorry, you have no idea. You're a great person, amazing and nobody should ever be treated that way. bitch. i have officially been stamped.
- I make promises to you in order to make you smile and forget what I said and end up giving you promises in the dark. It was never meant to hurt you but I'm terribly selfish and was only thinking bout myself. selfish cow. officially stamped.
- I forget to appreciate the small things you do for me cause i've built an expectation around you. Ive come to see the glass as half empty as opposed to half full with you. I really do appreciate the small things you do. u make me smile. eos
-Everything got out of hand and too much crap went down. It may not be my fault but i was part of the problem. jerk. officially stamped.
-I get angry when i miss you so i try to delete you out of my life to make it easier. arsehole. officially stamped.

- i know i'm not perfect, but you make me feel worth it in times when i feel worth less :)

xx. lmc.

insomnia

I think I have something to tell you. I think i need to tell you. Problem is- i don't wanna tell you and guess what? i probably will never tell you, so you can read this and see if it applies to you- if it does, then it's probably about you. i'm not gonna lie, i'm just gonna make it ambiguous.

You know what hurts? falling off a bike. you know what pain is? being left behind. yeah, it's painful as hell, where you know you weren't good enough to get carried through for some reason where you probably know deep down inside as to why, but you just didn't want to believe it in order to try and decrease the pain. So i've been thinking of what has been upsetting me lately. And I finally realised what it was. The fear of getting left behind. Yeah, it's happened before but silly me, i've always welcomed people back with opened arms. I was told today to stop doing that and I wish it were that easy. So now i have a message, no scratch that. i have a favour to ask of you. if you're planning on leaving me behind for a bit, then please get the hell out. Don't come back and hurt me again. I have to choose the people I don't mind getting hurt for, stop taking other peoples spots over and over again. please. just. go. I can't always be your safety net cause you're gonna burn me so bad it's gonna leave holes and it'll just end up hurting both of us. I don't wanna hurt you even if you hurt me. I just want you to go. please.

thoughts of you, me but not us

'temporary happiness is like waiting for the knife, you're always waiting for somebody to show their darker side'

Hurry up and do it already so I don't get use to this feeling. Even in mygreatest state of mind, where i'm in a place I could get use too, a place I can enjoy...yeah you know? that thing you call happiness? yeah, somebody is gonna come tumbling over and crush it over. It's not a matter of 'if' but 'when'...and if you think its not gonna happen then you really need to realise that life isn't rainbows and butterflies. yeah, to get to the rainbow you gotta go through the rain and we all know that rainbows don't last forever. So i'm just gonna sit here and wait and when it happens it won't even hurt cause i expected it. that's life. crap happens. deal.

drift. i never imagined that it would happen but guess what? we're in that spot now where we're drifting apart. Maybe you don't realise it's happening but i do, and while we're drifting, we're pushing each other away and somebody is grabbing what's left of us till there's nothing left for us to share. I'm getting use to it. Maybe you are too and one day we'll both realise what happened and have a laugh over it. I can imagine that happening. I guess that's the silver lining to this grey cloud aye?

xx.
lmc :)

senses

In life you have 5 sense, once in a while you'll get the rare few that have six senses. I know, they're cool right?

Anyways, what are they? hearing, seeing, smelling, tasting and touching. did i google that? perhaps. But anyways, it came to me this morning as i was eating my scotch fingers, why emotional pain was more painful than physical pain.
See, when you have physical pain, it tends to leave you a mark, a bruise, a scar or what not. This allows you to stem where the pain comes from and becomes a reminder not to hit that spot again. You can usually heal this by adding ice or someting on it and in due time as long as you don't keep poking at it, it's bound to disappear. Now emotional pain. That's something else. None of these sense can actually determine where this pain lies or how to fix it.
So what happens? Instead of tryin to heal it and trying to make sure it doesn't repeatedly get poked at, your mind is not able to locate where thispain is stemming from, thus, you try and find the exact location not realising you could actually be poking at it at the exact spot it's coming from. trippy right? yep, all of this from scotch fingers. Looking at my belly and thinking, ffs i needa restart this whole diet thing.

-lmc

What are the 10 commandments of giving head? I forget

No problems JenKan, here are your 10 commandments for a great blowjob that will blow your man's mind (pun intended):

1) Suction: Keep your mouth tight when sucking to give a strong "tight" feeling.

2) Deepthroat: Go as far as you can. A good way to give the illusion of deepthroating if you have a gag reflex is to stick your tongue to the roof of your mouth and let his dick touch the underside of your tongue.

3) Hand: When you're not deephroating, always have a hand on his shaft, moving up and down in motion with your mouth.

4) Balls: With your other hand, stroke and gently pull his testicles, be gentle and playful, because grabbing his funbags = big nono

5) Tip: Be creative with your tongue and lick, in circular motion, the tip of his penis. Applying medium pressure with your tongue on the tip of his penis will give him a guarateed shiver down his spine!

6) Advanced Tip: While flicking your tongue on the tip of his penis, have both hands on his shaft and give it a rhythmic twist like an indian burn - but make sure you dont do it too hard!

7) Travel: As an interim process, lick his shaft, starting from the base and move your way up, do this every now and again to give your mouth a rest and also to add a bit of adventure to the bj.

8) Saliva: If needed, spit on his dick to give added lubrication for your hands

9) Teeth: NEVER use teeth! This is painful. Playful nibbles are ok, but never ever chomp. Seriously.

10) Swallow: This is the most romantic ending to a blowjob well done. Swallowing makes the whole experience enjoyable and mess free!

Ask me anything

unsure

for the first time in a very long time,
i'm unsure about so many things.
I don't know what's gonna happen in 5 months, 5 weeks, 5 days or even 5 hours.
I can't help but think about what will happen.
I need something to entertain me,
all this alone time is giving me heavy thoughts.

-lmc

honest

' i love your honesty,
cause it reminds me i can trust you :)
i don't use the word trust often,
so please don't break it :)
but no doubt, i appreciate the fact you're honest :x'

-lmc :)

do you think old sparks between people can be reignited even after they disappeared and were formed with other people?

depends. usually they can which is why exes tend not to be able to stay friends. But I don't know :/ depends on the people and the situation. if teh sparks u had before were stronger than the ones u have now than yes they can but if they weren't than no...prob not :) but haha sparks, don't make them wait for them :) they come to you for a reason :)

Ask me anything

nice guys finish last

LOL. nice guys finish last cause they let other guys push in. only reason why. same reason nice girls finish last. benevolence is a bitch

Ask me anything

out

'how do you get out of something,
that you don't even know you're in?
Wait for everybody elses opinion to see what's right or wrong?
or trust yourself enough to just see through it?'

nice

today was the 3rd time i was told this week that i'm "too nice".
Now, i'm known to be honest so imma cut it straight...that's not true. I'm a horrible horrible person...I see the worst in everybody but treat them as if i only see the best. It actually isn't THAT easy to screw me over. influence? yeah k, i'd admit it, i'm pretty easy to influence...but screw over? pffttt please.
I AM NOT TOO NICE! PEOPLE NEED TO STOP WORRYING! SEESH:) (not that i don't appreciate it...i just hate seeing others worry...stressing makes you ugly people...don't do it! we're already the fattest country...don't make us the most unattractive=(!!!)


p.s. during lunch break today instead of getting HJ's i went to woolies and bought bananas and cashews. yes be proud :)

spark

'with sparks comes fire.
so what do u do when the sparks are there
but the fire's gone?
wait for the sparks to make more fire, or cool it off and wait for new sparks?'

wrong its not jackass july its GAY july :@:@:@

Usually, yes, this is the correct. However, seeing as in the previous month(s) there has been such an overload of homosexual behaviour/activity, it has jeopardised the chance for this month to be truly "Gay July".

Ask me anything

chase

'i'm a really boring person. eos.
the only exciting thing about me is the chase.
so if you think you like me...you don't.
you don't like me/ want me nor need me.
you just like the chase,
but meh, that's what life's about right?'

-lmc:)

what month is it?

It is officially.... JACKASS JULY! =D

Ask me anything

gone

Isn't it finny how we all try to step back and take a moment to have a think.
That thought that makes you wonder when it all went away,
that moment you realise its gone,
that feeling; that spark; that dissappointment; that anxiety; that happiness; that reason why; that reason not to let go.
Funny, what a moment of thinking can do to you.

-lmc

lies >=(

so yeah, back from ASIA camp 2010.
what can i say except?
OMFG I GOT SO FAT! NO seriously i hate vulgarity and profanities in my posts BUT OMFG I GOT SO FAT AND ARGH>=( so yeah, epic diet will start right now.
no seriously. RIGHT NOW. I CANNOT LIVE THIS WAY!!!
anyways...side note? i don't like sugarcoating. no seriously, please don't do it.
I JUST DON'T LIKE IT! like instead of saying 'you look healthier'
please tell me i look fat,
that way i will take a hint and lose weight,
yes, i know i sound crude but screw it, i'm fat. we're allowed to be nasty,
and damn, i don't wanna look healthy, i wanna look skinny,
KEEP FOOD AWAY FROM ME >=(

-lmc

chain

'Even if the chain will keep you stable and still,
sometimes its required of you,
to cut it off, so you can run around and be free.
Cut the chain, rope, friendship.
meh, same diff'

-lmc

behind

'the people that leave you behind?
yeah there's a reason they're not with you today,
and heck...they won't be there for you tomo,
but that just means that it leaves more time,
and attention for somebody else:)
leave me behind,
i don't mind...
i'll just replace you:)'

-lmc

full

'you're really full of crap you know?
but haha, jokes on us,
we learn to love ya for it...SIGH'

-lmc :)

possession

'whats yours is yours,
whats mine is mine,
i dont want your crap...
cause if i did,
i probably would have gone to the shop and got it myself.
eos.'

goodbye

''i dont wanna say goodbye,
So i'm just standing there wondering why,
just don't ever wanna see you cry,
so imma say goodbye

aint no one in this world
that can ever take your place,
and the love that we shared
it can never be erased
and i know that,
but it hurts so bad,
and i'm sorry,
you're the best I had'

-lmc <3

today

today is the last day i can blog before i leave to bussleton?
i think we're going to bussleton. i don't know to be honest nor do i care, nor am i excited. I don't wanna leave :( im already home sick and i haven't even left.
That's probably why i'm so reluctant to pack.
BUT no, today was a fabby day :)
had an epic lunch/ brekkie with one of my awesome mates and just went around exploring perth.
what else? i went SHOPPING!!! :) and i've learnt how to budget. well kinda
and now? i just came back from spending time with joolay. oh how i missed her :(
Seeing her just makes me wanna stay back and not leave. sigh.
she lets me see straight when everything is foggy. she's like my own personal prescribed glasses :) the optometrist that said i had 20/20 lied. i can't see anthing :( LOL
But yeah, all up...epic day:)

-lmc :)

swift

'i would find it cute,
if you weren't such a pathetic piece of shit.
it's not that i don't like you,
it's that i never bothered to try to.
why? cause being nice just gets you screwed over.
what does this mean?
I can describe our relationship oh so swiftly.
fml'

p.s. oh no i think the bitch is back :/

-lmc

why can meng kiss boy and still be straight -tim

Dear tim,
This is because he keeps his percentage relatively high. As long as his ratio is above 80/20, that is, he kisses at least 80% more girls than he does boys, then he remains straight. If this scale tips and his percentage falls less than that of 80%, he is no longer straight but bi. If his percentage falls lower than 50%, then he is a full fledged homo.
Not only that, but he is not sexually attracted to boys and does not find any sexual appeal in penises (even docking).

Ask me anything

reality

'so yeah, i miss talking to you.
maybe its that, or maybe i miss you.
fml'

-lmc

benevolence

'benevolence and
malevolence are so close in spelling
but so polar in meaning.
theres the fine line between love and hate:
its all in the linguistics.'

-mh

'it sucks when your benevolence,
becomes your regret'

-lmc

ave

'i don't think people are ave,
i think the situations they're in are ave,
or the situations they make for themselves are ave.
one way or the other, somebody in the world loves them,
and there's probably a good reason why :)'

-lmc


'this post is dedicated
to a very special person:
her name is AVE GIRL
and though she may be ave,
she will come to realize
that all pet names come with both
a mix of both affection and honesty.
things arent always the way we want it to be
and we cant always make other people happy.
but to accept yourself for who and what you are,
then you too can laugh along with us
because we are not the enemy.
We are.. your friends =)"

-mh

why are asians so yellow?

asians have yellow skin colour due to their biological ancestors who worshipped gold deities such as the huge buddha, and so coated their bodies in yellow ocra. it is also known that a staple diet of rice with soya sauce and exotic asian fruits like dragonfruit and starfruit gives the skin a natural glowing shine.

Ask me anything

life in words

start : the diet
stop : the pride
love : the moment
hate : undefinable
missing : a lot
gaining : more
trying : so hard
failing : nothing
giving up : on you
leaving: with a quote

" I only limit myself to you, cause i already miss you and I don't wanna miss you more' :)

-lmc

why are negros oh so black? <3 ea

dear ea,
negros are "black" due to the nature of the pigmentation of their skin. because of their ancestors, who would play basketball and hunt for chicken in the harsh deserts, their skin adapted to the harsh UV rays of the sun through copious amounts of pigmentation. It is also known that their dark skin helped them to camouflage in the night when they had massive wars against the ninjas in the East when migrating from one continent to another.

Ask me anything

bliss

'they say

' if at first you don't succeed. pick yourself up and try again'

I've picked myself up, but no, i won't try again.
I've tried many times, and each time,
it leads me to disappointment so I'm just going to stop.
I can't try again, if i know the end result will probably
just lead to a useless cause.
It would be so much easier just to not know.
sometimes, ignorance really is bliss'

-lmc


'sleeping in
is so blissful.
and then you wake up to reality.
maybe thats why death is called
"eternal bliss".
maybe its all about finding something worth waking to.
or next to.'

-mh

crush

'baby, there's a reason they call it that.
That's gonna be the state of your heart,
when it's all over an done with'

-lmc :)



'
"legend tells of a man
so powerful that he can reach
into the chest of his enemies
and crush their hearts with his fist."

pffft, so what? i know a girl
that can crush a mans heart
just with her eyes.'

-mh

twist

'i love watching movies
with twist endings.
i like mindfucks.
i enjoy getting my mind blown.
...among other things'

-mh

'you weren't a twist to my story.
More like a pleasant surprise'

-lmc :)

what is the meaning of life ea

There is no real absolute or universal meaning of life, as even if there were to be one, we as fallable humans may never find it.
However, the search for this inherent meaning can lead you to create your own intrinsic meaning to life, something for which you live your life by.
Just be sure you never confuse this selfmade meaning and purpose with the true objective definition of the "meaning of life". For that is the absurdity of life that we lead.
Enjoy life and do not take everything too seriously, for everything that we consider to be serious or real is arbitrary anyway =)

Ask me anything

bottle

'i was always fascinated
by those bottles with miniature ships in them.
how could something so majestic, so sophisticated,
like those ships be contained by such a small vessel.
like they're trapped.
its hauntingly impressive.
that is my mind, stuck inside this vessel of a body'

-mh

'In a sense, the body is like a bottle,
it can only take so much before it overfills.
Your effect on me?
In the form of tears dear'

-lmc

ripple

'the ripple effect
when a single action
causes a wave of consequences
but this only occurs
when there is water.
for without, an action is just a stone
that falls to the ground '

-mh

'when i first met you,
i thought you would be someone,
that would just drop in with no effect.
But no, you made a ripple effect in my life,
changing everything i do and say.
how do i know that?
cause i'm thinking of you right now'

-lmc

shade

'
the shadow cast from your inner fantasies
provide a nice shade for those daring enough
to play within it,
until that shadow suddenly disappears,
and you see that i was the one that shined upon you.
and those that played among the shade,
will be nought but scorched.'

-mh

'Adding sunglasses doesn't make everything gloomy,
it just makes it easier to see when everything is bright and blurry.
Put those sunnies on and make it easier for yourself to see.
sure its a tad more gloomy and dour,
but hey, at least you can see it better now right?
sometimes i wish i could put sunnies on too see you.'

-lmc

silence

'sometimes in order to see,
you need to have silence.
How do two different senses correlate?
sometimes, in order to be able to do something right,
you need something completely irrelevant to impose.'

-lmc


'if silence is golden
then men's genitals
should surely be called
"the midas touch"'

-mh

need

' i only put up with your crap,
cause i NEED you in my life.
No, you don't make me happy.
The things you bring to my life make me happy.
But in a sense, i shouldn't complain,
you do treat me well'

-lmc

'
I need you like Sago needs glee
I need you like Ness needs purity
I need you like Eugene needs A/C
I need you like Helen needs coffee
I need you like Naijiao needs Jackie
I need you like Jen Kan needs Timmy
I need you like Jackie needs bubbletea
I need you like Nhandoes needs a degree
I need you like Karen needs stuff for free
I need you like Simon needs his Queen Bee
I need you like Renata needs her Strawberry
I need you like Jong needs to update frequently
I need you like George needs a certain W-H-A-L-E
I need you like Joshy needs constant female company


I need you like you need me,
Wouldn't you agree?
Don't believe me then take my hand and see
Together we can be whatever, wherever we want to be.'

-mh

expect

'When you expect too much from me,
it's always going to leave to disappointments.
I'm sorry i always seem to disappoint you,
but you probably shouldn't have those expectations of me.
I think that you have to shift your expectations onto somebody else,
cause i'm clearly never gonna hit them.
It's not that I don't want to,
It's just that I'm not suppose to'

-lmc


'expect,
expectations,
examples of ugly words.
eliminate these from your vocabulary, and
enjoy life, as you
eliminate the things that will only disappoint and make an
example for those that are still hoping.
expectations,
expect.

end the cycle.
eos'

-mh

destination

'"Thus I draw from the absurd three consequences:
which are my revolt, my freedom, and my passion.
By the mere activity of consciousness
I transform into a rule of life what was an
invitation to death, and I refuse suicide."
-Albert Camus

..because the destination is always the same.
the only way to enjoy the journey
is to be as absurd as the absurdity of it all =)'

-mh

'i've got something on my mind,
and i can't seem to let it go.
I've bene plotting different ways to tell you,
but i don't think it matters...
cause at the end,
it'll just end up at the same destination.'

-lmc

rant

" first time in a long time,
i've actually been this angry.
It doesn't match me very well.
That moment you can feel everything,
bottled up all inside until that moment,
where u realise it's overloading
and you're gonna burst.
ffs. fk off
-i'm not in the mood for games"

force

'trying to force myself to yack,
so i feel better,
has made me realise:
Purging yourself of your impurities
makes you feel weak, but better.
What doesn't kill you,
makes you stronger.
It takes a strong will
to admit weakness.
And so here I am,
The King of Purity'

-mh

'Gonna force myself to stop.
why? because i finally realise what's right and wrong.
This is wrong and i'm right for thinking so.
i bet you won't agree,
but it's time to stop.
Even if we don't want to,
it's time to force ourselves to.
It ends today. This hour, this minute, this second...now :('

-lmc

oneitis

The Helen Le dictionary

' Defn: oneitis
oneitis- to have one person as their world; one person is somebody's world
synonyms- loner, dog
antonym- happy, free, social'

-lmc


'HAHAHAHHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA
...because its a joke.
there's a reason why I'm immune.
and there's a reason why you're not,
sago'

-mh

mind

'theres no such thing as impossible
only difficult.
the only obstacles
are in your mind.'

-mh

'those that mind don't matter,
but those that matter don't mind.
that's why i don't mind being mean to you.
cause i know that you don't mind,
so to you it really doesn't matter'

-lmc :)

Mix

'Mix and match:
As many flavours
In any number of combinations
As you can try and find.
None of them will taste
Like Happy Strawberry Time'


-mh

'at the end of the day,
we're all a bit like a mixed lolly bag,
we have our good parts,
and our bad parts.
so why do we still buy it with the bad parts?
cause it makes the bag interesting'

-lmc :)

Do

'Do re mi
Un dos tres
like 1 2 3
like a b c
everythings better in 3s
that's where i want to be'


-mh

'do what you please.
that way, you won't end up regretting.
do things, smile at things,
and never regret anything that ever made you smile'

-lmc

realise

i've come to realise a couple of things in my moment of procrastination

- i think i've had enough. moderation is key.
-damn, we really are 60-40. It's cool though i guess.
-i miss work :(
-I honestly can't wait for ASIA camp. ready ness? :)
-I have so much planned for holidays. how much of it will i actually do?
-You really have become one of my best friends huh? I like it though :)
-i think I miss you. damn.
-there's a chance i'm gonna fail my exam on fri if i continue this post :(

-lmc

share

'sharing is a problem
when there's not enough to go around
but why should sharing be a problem,
if there's plenty to go around?
take as much as you want
and not what you think you want'

-mh

'the minute you make me share,
is the minute you see me walk away.
i am Helen. I do NOT share.
even if that means giving up you'

-lmc

sense

'some things just don't make sense
but that doesn't make it any less meaningful.
damn, i really want a froke right now.'

-mh

'what doesn't make sense,
is the fact that we make sense,
by not making sense,
yet the minute we make sense,
it's back to the place where it doesn't make sense
so in a sense, it goes back to us making sense'

-lmc

seize

'i'm a great believer in
"carpe diem",
though i can see why
not all people might not see my POV.
...especially those with epilepsy'

-mh

'sometimes I wish I had seized that moment.
Not because that moment gave me happiness,
but you in that moment,
is the you i prefer.'


-lmc

life

'life in a nutshell
- finally giving up. the timeline is up. i'm impatient.
- finally realised. i need to stop, i just don't know how.
- finally focused. i know what i want, and i know how to get it.
- finally determined. i've been deprived of motivation for a while now.
- finally found. something that was never lost.
- finally chose. To go neither way and stray my own path.
- finally shut. It was probably for your benefit not mine.
- finally upset. I actually needed this one to understand you.

yeah that's my life in a nutshell. FInally had to time to do this. yay :)

-h

deprive

'why deprive yourself
of the things you want?
you only live once, so
make the MOST of it,
but take ALL of it.
and leave NOTHING to chance.'

-mh

'Being deprived of you,
didn't make me angry it just made me upset,
just like being angry at you,
doesn't make you upset at me,
it just makes you wanna deprive yourself of me'

-lmc

fk you

'u know what? fk u
unreliable people are so ave.
you are fkn ave.
ffs if u say ur gonna do something, can u do it?
don't make broken promises.
u know what?
ur really starting to piss me off.
u know what?
who the hell do u think u are?
u know what?
these are things i wanna tell people'

-lmc

wait

"I bet you think it's easier to lie to yourself,
even got yourself believing you're better off with somebody else,
so you sacrificed your security,
cause your impatient self couldn't wait for me,
and you settled for the first thing through the door"

-lmc


'when homework turns into essays and exams,
when schoolgirls turn into sluts
when detention turns into suspension
when skipping school turns into skipping work
when juice turns into alcohol
when lollipops turn into cigarettes
when getting high meant getting on a swing
when wearing a skirt didn't make you a slut
when protection meant wearing a helmet
when the worst thing you could get from girls were cooties
when race issues were about who was the fastst
when dad's shoulders were the highest place on earth
when the most pain you felt was scraping your knee

...and we couldn't WAIT to grow up'

-mh

abandon

'the worst type of abandonment
is not being left behind.
it's being forgotten,
by someone you will never forget'

-mh

' If you were gonna abandon me,
Could you leave all of me?
You took a piece of me that I will never get back,
so now i'm empty, and cold.
yeah, abandonment makes girls bitches and boys jerks.
true story.'

-lmc

insomnia

"and i can't sleep till your next to me"

-mh






"i sleep better now that you're gone,
not because life without you is better,
quite the opposite in fact.
But once I close my eyes,
it's my own lala land,
and the ending is the way I want it to be"

-lmc

dislike

' I don't know why, but i'm starting to dislike things more and more everyday.
from the words people say,
to the things that people do,
to just people themselves.
I doubt I have a legit reason...besides the fact that i can.
That or the simple realisation that
I care too much about too little,
and that others care too little about too much,
maybe that's why i've become such a bitter bitch these days.
so while you drown yourself in sorrow,
i'll drown myself in sweets.
hey, something has to compensate for my bitterness right?'

-lmc



'you can't spell DISLIKE
without LIKE
it's all a matter of give and take.
its too late to take it all back
but its never too late to give it all up.
or give in.'

-mh

forget

'my plan is to forgive and forget,
forgive myself for being stupid,
and forget that part of you, ever existed'

-lmc



'my memory is shocking
and there are so many things
that i forget so easily.
stay with me forever, then.
so i never forget you.
every moment is a new memory'

-mh

truth

'
"There are 4 trains in life:
1. what people want
2. what they believe
3. what they know
4. what they feel
when those 4 questions collide,
you get the truth" '

-mh

"truth is, there is no such thing as the absolute truth.
We make truth, for it is mind over matter.
Tell yourself something enough, and it'll probably come true...
'baby, if you can dream it, you can become it'"

-lmc :)

new

'new is such an old word.
it just takes up different meanings.
just as an old word can take up new meanings.

-------------------------
new me
new you
same us.'

-mh

'same me,
same you,
different perspective,
same me, different you'

-lmc

guilt

'this is why women are genetically dispositioned
to feel "guilt" while men are not:

men have a dick and no conscience whilst
women have a conscience and no dick.

fairer sex? you tell me'

-mh

'occurs after you do something where
the heart begs yes,
and the mind yells no'

-lmc

bitch

' You think i'm being honest.
Society thinks i'm being realistic.
I think i'm being a bitch.'

When did it become a bad thing to be a bitch?
Minus the sugar coating and nobodies ever as sweet as they seem to be'

-lmc


'the reason why girls are bitchy
is the same reason why men are jerks.
they're both territorial.

in the end, they all just want the same thing.
each other =) '

-mh

stability

'does stability = routine?
or does stability = comfort?
or is stability something else entirely?

the 3 month curse. can it be overcome?'

-mh

'it's funny how you only seem to be able to realise
what's really around you when you're stable.
Look around, nobody's pushing you.
Breathe it in and breathe it out. appreciate it.
Until one little nudge makes you fall to the ground and breaks you apart.
That's when you realise you weren't stable.
you were simply just standing still'

-lmc

help

'i can't help but to want you,
i can't help but to miss you,
I can't help but to keep coming back to you.
I can't help but to feel bad for certain situations,
I can't help but to smile from the thought of you :)
I can't help but to know that this is a fake reality'

*sidenote- for miss juju :):):)

-lmc



'i can't help myself
from helping myself
to a piece of you.'

-mh

fall

'I'm not gonna jump and fall,
if I'm not 100% sure you're gonna catch me.
If u decide not to wait and to walk away,
there's no safety net. I'm gonna fall...and it's gonna hurt.'

*switch i to you, and change you to me :)

-lmc


'to fall suggests
that at some point,
you will land.
i guess that's the same for love.
no one can fall forever
just be careful how you land.'

-mh

deposit

'so yesterdays car incident
is my karmic deposit for the next month or so
wait for me june... daddys coming home >:D'

-mh


'Time is a deposit on an intangible layby.
Adding more and more time payments to get what u want,
till the point where you realise by the time you get it...
it's not the same.
So you stop making those payments.
Forget about the good you wanted,
and realise you're never gonna get your deposit back'

-lmc

lies

'Does lying really make you feel better?
does it help you sleep at night?
I don't know and frankly I don't care.
I don't know whether or not I should be pissed at the lies you tell,
or to just feel sorry for you.
I hate to be the one that calls bs, but I call bs on your niceness.
You pathetic piece of s***.
end of this stupid story'

-lmc


'stealing is bad
lying is worse
but being in denial is the worst'

-mh

different perspectives

I'm starting to realise I forgive people too easily.
I don't know if it's a bad thing or a good thing. It's my flaw but at the same time, it's probably the reason why people put up with me. I'm starting to get what everybody means when they tell me i'll be easy to eff over. Problem is, I don't know how I can change that. Maybe I should start making people earn their forgiveness? I'm not too sure, all i know is, the people that hurt you tend to scar you. Scars are permanant, they stay with you. What do you do in these type of situations?

Do you change that aspect of you cause you think it's your flaw? or should you keep that part of you, just because it makes you who are you. confusion makes my head hurt more than dizzy's from mama teh. sigh burger

-lmc

mark

' the step you took into my life,
left a permanent mark.
Now it's up to me to see how to erase it,
I know i can, i just have to find the right solution'

-lmc



'to make a mark is only half the job
to leave a mark is getting the job done.'

-mh

flaw

'
"You come to love
not by finding the perfect person,
but by seeing an imperfect person
perfectly."
must be one of my favorite quotes.

meeting me is your flawed victory'

-mh

'A flaw is just another word for special.
They call it a flaw. You call it special.
Flaws make you the person you are.
Special aspects about you make you who you are'

-lmc

fight

'give me something worth fighting for.
Yeah, didn't think you could.
The white flags up. I guess you won this round...

jhnwff'

-lmc


"does fighting a losing battle make you
courageous? or a
coward?

i think it just makes u a nice guy."

-mh

easy

'"How can you do statistics when you don't even know how to do basic math?"
I wonder myself.
Sometimes i just like to skip the easy stuff.
But I realized too late,
there is no such thing as "easy".'

-mh

'Build up some walls.
nobody wants to walk in an unknown territory when the doors are open.
They'll just walk in and leave right after.
mysteriousness is the most beautiful experience'

-lmc

direct

'I wish people were more direct about things.
Sugarcoating sucks. If you don't like something about me...tell me.
If you like me...tell me.
If you want me to do something...tell me.
Don't wait till I figure it out, cause I have really bad timing.
It'll probablyy be too late by the time I realise...seriously'

-lmc


'I was the young starlet, he was the ambitious director.
He had found me in the talent directory,
Hoping for a star, not just another pretty face.
He directed with great passion and vision, and soon I fell for him.
I was naive and impressionable, and i longed for his directive
not only on camera, but offcamera too.
He was notorious for his directness,
And yet I was still unprepared when he told me that we could never be.
Such a cruel and direct answer.
I cried and pleaded that without him i had no direction in life,
but he merely stared, those usual eyes of fiery passion,
glazed over with a blankness i had never before seen.
"You don't need a direction in life, because your life is going nowhere."
I couldn't believe my ears, and I ran, with tears streaming down my face.
I didn't stop running, couldn't stop running, in no particular direction,
...directly into you.
I apologised, and fell to the ground, exhausted with no dignity and no hope left.
You pulled me up, and wiped away my tears.
You were the direct opposite of him, a man with no ambition, no vision,
Just a simple man, with a caring soul and a smile that melted my heart.
My broken heart and shattered dreams had brought me directly to you.
And now, I have a new direction in life.
A life of loving you.'

-mh

ego

'I really do judge too quickly. That was fact.
Maybe you are a lot prettier than I think you are,
Maybe you are a lot nicer than I assume you are,
Maybe you are a lot smarter than i perceive you to be,
Maybe I'm just in a really good mood.
That was fiction.
This is why I don't like social acceptance.
It allows me to believe social powers outweigh social morals.
sigh sorry. Nah, not really. My ego's too high for apologies'


-lmc

'even the biggest egos
are no match for statistics.
and thats a fact!'

-mh

pressure

'bus uncle i know how you feel.
i understand your frustration.
that 6 minutes must've been hard for you.
but i know the 6 hours after was a lot worse.

--but he really didn't deserve it.'

-mh

'pressure comes from the most unknown places,
that, and from the most unsuspecting people.'

-lmc

move

'it's funny how i never deleted you from my mind,
never erased you, never forgot about you, never elimated the thought of you,
I simply just moved you. I needed to.
I can't rid you, the only thing I can do is move you.
you're no longer my priority, but you're still there :)'

-lmc